It's late. I'm should be in bed. I am supposed to get up and go workout with Michelle in the morning. And Carl. How could I forget about Carl? He's NOT happy with me. I've dodged him for 2 weeks. It got really busy the week before Christmas break then we had some personal crap going on the week of Christmas and I wasn't in the mood for anyone's crap so I didn't even answer Carl's "where the hell are you?" calls. He caught me once coming out of Kody's Cafe though and hollered at me..."What are you doing in there? You shouldn't even be in there eatin' beans and burritos. I better see you in my gym in 1 hour, girl! ONE HOUR!" (I do love Carl! lol) I didn't show though. I could've made it, I suppose, but I didn't.
Anyway....not making excuses at all. I was just allowing myself to wallow and be lazy. I should've gotten my big butt in there and worked out some of the stress and anger...excuses. I got a million of em'. Carl counsels me about how it's supposed to be a lifestyle change....I know, I know, I know. I don't need the lecture. I know what I NEED to do and I'm going to do it. Don't count me out...I could be the longshot, but I'd still put money on me. I really don't like to be TOLD what to do though. Maybe the whole personal trainer thing isn't for me. I am super competitive though and that's what drives me. I like to WIN. Also, I don't want to be fat so that's a big motivator to me too. I've got the inner power to do it and make it happen, but I'm obstinate and apt to refuse to do something just on principle if I think I'm being forced. No wonder my mother sarcastically wished Carl good luck with me. "Oh good luck to YOU, buddy." she told him. I love my mom, she knows I'm a little shit and she loves me anyway. It was she who always told me I was the little girl w/the curl in the middle of my forehead.
So, anyway....Michelle's coming by to get me at 8:40. I know that's not THAT early, but I like to sleep in and lounge around on days my kids don't have school so it's early to me. Also, I'm stressed out and can't sleep so I know I'll be worthless in the morning. Will I make it or not? Michelle may be dragging me out.....we'll see.