Monday, December 29, 2008

Eat Your Heart Out June Cleaver!

Would Ward do this for June? BBQing in the middle of winter when it's 15 degrees outside? I think not! June had dinner on the table for Ward every night by the time he got home from the office. But, my awesome husband is out there in the cold grilling just for me. He's turning out to be quite the support and helper.
Thanks Kolb!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Get off Your A@@, Jennifer!

It's late. I'm should be in bed. I am supposed to get up and go workout with Michelle in the morning. And Carl. How could I forget about Carl? He's NOT happy with me. I've dodged him for 2 weeks. It got really busy the week before Christmas break then we had some personal crap going on the week of Christmas and I wasn't in the mood for anyone's crap so I didn't even answer Carl's "where the hell are you?" calls. He caught me once coming out of Kody's Cafe though and hollered at me..."What are you doing in there? You shouldn't even be in there eatin' beans and burritos. I better see you in my gym in 1 hour, girl! ONE HOUR!" (I do love Carl! lol) I didn't show though. I could've made it, I suppose, but I didn't.

Anyway....not making excuses at all. I was just allowing myself to wallow and be lazy. I should've gotten my big butt in there and worked out some of the stress and anger...excuses. I got a million of em'. Carl counsels me about how it's supposed to be a lifestyle change....I know, I know, I know. I don't need the lecture. I know what I NEED to do and I'm going to do it. Don't count me out...I could be the longshot, but I'd still put money on me. I really don't like to be TOLD what to do though. Maybe the whole personal trainer thing isn't for me. I am super competitive though and that's what drives me. I like to WIN. Also, I don't want to be fat so that's a big motivator to me too. I've got the inner power to do it and make it happen, but I'm obstinate and apt to refuse to do something just on principle if I think I'm being forced. No wonder my mother sarcastically wished Carl good luck with me. "Oh good luck to YOU, buddy." she told him. I love my mom, she knows I'm a little shit and she loves me anyway. It was she who always told me I was the little girl w/the curl in the middle of my forehead.

So, anyway....Michelle's coming by to get me at 8:40. I know that's not THAT early, but I like to sleep in and lounge around on days my kids don't have school so it's early to me. Also, I'm stressed out and can't sleep so I know I'll be worthless in the morning. Will I make it or not? Michelle may be dragging me out.....we'll see.

Edge Magazine Blog

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And...check out our cover shot for January. I love it!

Friday, December 26, 2008

There Once Was a Girl.....

There was a little girl,    
Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,

She was very good indeed,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It's so true. It's so me! When I fall off the wagon I REALLY fall off.

I have indulged a bit much this holiday season. Definitely not like in years past though. I am not gorging myself or totally pigging out. I'm still keeping my portions smaller and eating a healthy lunch and breakfast, but I am indulging a bit much on treats: cookies, fudge and candy. I am not making excuses here, but I will say that I have been so busy and didn't make time to workout and if I'm not working out....I'm not as disciplined in what I eat.

Luckily though, Santa brought candy for my kids that I don't really like so that's good. Less of a temptation.

I'm getting after it next week though. I'm going to go hardcore and I'm not falling off again. Ever. I loved working out hard the first two weeks we started this. I actually felt GREAT. Plus, basketball season is starting and I want to be able to play more than 2 minutes at a time. I can't run for long periods of time yet, but by this time next year, I'll be a whole new me and I can't wait!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

More Stupid...

I've discovered I do stupid stuff too, Christine. (If you haven't read Christine's post titled STUPID, then go to her blog...there is a link to it over there on the right------>, it's called "I'm Losin' It" or Christine's Blog. If you're reading this on The Edge site, you can go to each individual blog by clicking on the yellow post titles. To view all blog posts by that particular person, you click on the box that has the name of that person's blog in'll take you to the HOME page of that particular blog. To access older posts, find the words, OLDER POSTS down at the bottom of the page and click. Enjoy reading!)

Anyway...I eat fast. I wolf my food down. I am sure this began in college when I'd get mere minutes for a food break and then it only got worse when I became a mother. I would hurry up and eat so I could take care of the baby. Well, now that people aren't babies anymore, I sit there at the table and, since I'm finished, I eat MORE. Why not have another helping?

So, here's what I'm doing to stop that particular bad habit. I'm eating more slowly. Taking my time. Counting my bites and chewing my food. I am also taking a break in between mouthfuls. Put a bite in, put fork down, take a drink, hands in lap, wipe mouth, then pick up fork again. It's just good manners anyway. And, it makes me much more conscious of what goes in my mouth. Who knew eating was such work anyway? GOOD, HEALTHY eating is a bit of work, but oh-so-worth it!

Monday, December 22, 2008


Christine is brave. So brave!

She has all of our kids at her house tonight (except for my 2 year old). She's got Michelle's 3 kids, 3 of mine and 3 of her own. Crazy lady!!

I'm sure they're having a ball though.

BTW...I suck. I haven't worked out that much the last 2 weeks. It's just way busy this time of year though. I'll really buckle down next week and after the 1st of the new year.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


So, I was riding the bike today (1st time I've made it to a workout all week) and I had on a long sleeve shirt under my t-shirt. I started to take it off and Carl went all puppy dog eyes and pleading with me...

"What are you doing? PLEASE leave it on!"

So I did. And it sucked. I hated being smothered! It was sweltering. I hate to be hot and I wasn't happy. Carl said, "Let's try to wear it once a week." I said.."Hmm, maybe. We'll see." So Carl said, "I thought we were going to work on your attitude."

Oh were we???

I had no idea.

Attitude? I have an attitude?

Whatever, man.

Monday, December 15, 2008


I didn't workout today.

I didn't weigh in today.

I didn't see Carl today.

I took a nap today.

A big fat one.

And I loved it.

My little boys were napping though and I was TIRED. They are 4 and 2 years old and for some reason, they woke up at 5:30 am when Kolby was up getting ready for work and I hadn't gone to sleep til' very late (because I'm a little stressed out) so 3 hours of sleep just wasn't cutting it for me.

Plus, it was freakin' cold! It was 14 degrees in town this morning and I was cold. So, we came home, boys went down for naps and I curled up on the chaise in front of the fire with my blankey and I crashed. I slept for a good 3 hours while the boys slept.

Also, it was snowing outside so it was a lovely hibernation sleep. I like to stay in when it's snowing and curl up and be warm and snuggly. (not the same as being too freakin' hot in a stupid sweatshirt inside a warm building working out...that's a bad warm and snuggly. Just so you know!)

So, I didn't get a workout in. I overslept and would've been very late for my appointment with Carl, so I didn't go in at all. No weigh in for me today after all.

So, I got my way didn't I? And Carl didn't get his weigh. (oh ha ha ha...bad pun...sorry)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I refuse!

Ok...that's it. I'm NOT weighing in this week. No way. I know I've completely overdone it with the holiday parties and making of the goodies and treats. I've tried really hard to stay out of the cookies and to not hog out on good meals, but I really haven't stuck to healthy portions or good food choices. So...I'm not weighing in. Maybe I will next week. pbbbbbbtttttt! (raspberry)

Also...Carl wants me to wear a sweatshirt to workout in. Uh-uh. Ain't happenin'. I refuse. I wear sweatshirts to keep warm outside when it's cold. As soon as I walk into a building, sweatshirt comes off. No way in HELL am I wearing one to workout in. I sweat plenty as it is. There is no need to be too hot. That'll just make me ornery and Carl doesn't want that does he???

So...I'm not doing it. I may end up weighing, but I'm not wearing a sweatshirt unless I'm cold. That's my final answer.

Friday, December 12, 2008

It hurts....

If I could keep my arms up long enough to type for a long time I'd post something interesting, hurts. My arms are sore. Carl had me lift arms yesterday, go 20 min. on the bike then I went and played basketball last night as well. My legs felt like jello by the time I got home and I didn't want to get out of bed this morning.

It all feels sooo good though. Truly, it does. Makes me feel like I'm really trying, really working. I'm hoping to see that scale go DOWN even more on Monday. Wish me luck with that though. I'm doing some holiday baking today and we've got Ward's company party tonight (that's my husband, my very 1st post, you'll get it then) then a family party on Sunday. Lots of food, goodies and temptations galore.

*sigh* I really do love pinoche' too.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Monday, December 8, 2008

Like A Good Jock Strap

Support! Ahhhh...just like a good jock strap! That's what I've got. My support team is AWESOME! We've got people here, there and everywhere cheering us on and supporting us. Thanks! Any tips, tricks, advice, recipes or encouragement is welcome.

My official support team consists of some tough players. Doni Horrocks is in charge of making sure I get a workout in and I know she'll drag me out by my hair if she needs to. She said it's good I picked her cuz she's a big meanie about this stuff and I said, "GOOD! Cuz so am I!" lol Backing her up are Amy Taylor (who I know will push me harder once she gets to workout again) and then Kara Campbell. I'm sure she'll come up with some good creative workout ideas for me.

My cyber support team members are many as well. My friend, Gina Drennon from Eureka Springs, Arkansas is always there for me to whine to about sore muscles and near heart attacks. (and, she tells me to suck it up, put on the big girl panties and just deal with it.) Julie Shaeffer, all the way from Chicago, is going to send me alot of yummy recipes and check in on me quite often as well. Kirsten Madaus in Virginia will get me into a pilates class yet and a high school friend, Shawn Busch, is going to goad me on Facebook to make sure I've worked out. And on and on...tons of friends out there to help me.

I appreciate it! The community here has been so responsive and positive about everything as well. That's a great support.

Just like a good jock strap or an awesome bra! All of ya!

Weigh In Day....

So, we had to weigh in today. We were supposed to lose 4 lbs. I didn't. I lost 6 lbs instead. Yay me!

Then I worked out hard. It felt good. We worked shoulders after a bike ride and some shadow boxing with weights for a warm up. It may not feel good tomorrow, but it felt good today. Seeing that scale going down is inspiring and motivational and makes me want to work harder.

Oh, and I got in trouble. Carl had a few chastisements for me about Diet Coke. He asked me if I've been drinking any, and of course I have been. I love it. But, I'm out of it now and I'm not going to buy anymore(well maybe not as much as I used to).

I did work out 3 days last week and got up a good sweat and worked myself, but, I'm going to attribute my weight loss to curtailing my eating habits and behavior modification. I'm eating a small breakfast...a scrambled egg with salsa and/or oatmeal and always a fruit, then for lunch I usually eat a salad with 2 oz of grilled chicken on it and those yummy spray vinigarette dressings (Asian Silk is my favorite), and for dinner, 2 oz lean meat, fruits, veggies, and 1/2 cup bread/starch. I'll usually find some way to add some calcium and dairy into my diet each day too.

Portion size and no snacking--that's my mantra. Behavior modification. That's my plan. It's just a healthy way to eat. I am not restricting everything, but I don't need to have a whole plateful of gravy covered food. I'm eating a whole plateful of food, it's just healthy food and proper portions.

I'm also trying to increase my cardio stamina by running on my own. I did great today, too. I made it a whole 1/2 a block before feeling like I was going to have a heart attack. LOL A whole minute! Oh man, I swear I thought i was going to have to call an ambulance! My 2 year old was in the yard watching me and he yelled, "Run, Mom!" after I stopped. Thanks for the encouragement, buddy, but I was dying..I think. LOL

It's just hard, once you let yourself get so big and wiegh so much...and once you get older, to get your body in shape. I always say "I want my 19 year old body back!". Well it's too bad I didn't take care of that good body when I had it. It's a long, hard road back to it...or something close to it anyway.

At any week I'm hoping to be down 5 more lbs. I'm going to be much more disciplined this week and work harder so I may just hit that goal. Go Jenn! Go Jenn! Go Jenn!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Michelle Has Good News!

Come on, Michelle! Post up the good news!

You rock the house, girl!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Mommy Guilt

"Mom, can I please go with you to the gym?" begs my 10 year old son.

"I can go with you too, Mom! I'll be really good. I promise. I'll take my crayons and draw." states my 7 year old daughter.

"Mom...pleeeeeaaaaassssseee can I go? I really want to go!" whines my very active 4 year old son.

"Peeeeeseeeee! Mom! Take me wif you!!! Don't weave me!" cries my little, blonde 2 year old with those big, sad, puppy dog eyes, desperate to catch me as I walk out the door, as if his little world will shatter as soon as I leave.

So, I leave them all and go do my THING and then I suffer from Mom Guilt. Not that I'd ever take them with me to a workout facility, daycare or not. I would NOT enjoy having them with me on the premises, but I should not have to feel guilt for having one hour of time just for ME. But I do. If they were in bed, I wouldn't feel bad at all, but I feel selfish and guilty for indulging myself in that one hour a day to go workout.

I did take my 10 year old son with me to work out yesterday. He wants to workout alongside me. Which is fine with me, he needs to stay in shape for the various sports he plays and he likes to walk and run. He would love to hit the weights, but I said NO on that one....and so did Carl. So, Carl has him doing push-ups and pull-ups though. He needs to do more of those so he can pass his Presidential Fitness Test. Go Carl! Get him working!

Anyone want to babysit the other 3 for me? ;-)

Thursday, December 4, 2008


So, Michelle, Christine and I went to look at an office space today (yes! We're looking for an office for the magazine. Movin' up in the world!) and, as is our custom or habit or cravings or whatever, we went to lunch. Who doesn't love to lunch with the girls though? It's fun! And it was kind of a meeting anyway.

But, we went to Kody's Cafe and guess who works there? CARL PARKER! Our trainer. His first question was "What are you guys doing HERE?" And I was just SURE he was going to sabotage our food with something more healthy or tofu-y or something, but he didn't. He let us make our own choices then he came out afterwards and asked us how we enjoyed our meals.

How nice, huh? Carl's a great guy. As he said goodbye, he gave each of us a look and said, "I WILL see you in the gym later today." UH OH! Totally busted and that WAS a Carl-The-Personal-Trainer warning. LOL're in for it, babe! Hope that Diet Coke was worth it! I'm sure I won't be happy I ate the rest of that burrito later on.....

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Fat Chick's Crack


Cheeseburgers. A fat girl's crack. OMG I love them. Big ol' greasy cheesburgers from those greasy spoon and drive-in type joints, or the horse race track..mmmmmm track burgers...that takes me back. Good ol' greasy burgers dripping with melty cheese that blends in with the grease with onions.... mmmmmmmmmmmm...mmmmmm...mmmmmmm...OH! Snap me out of it!

Cheeseburgers are a BAD habit! Tasty habit though, eh? Dang I really love cheeseburgers. But, you know what? I'm over it. I really am. I haven't fallen totally out of like with that kind of food, but I'm over the love affair I've always had with food. That's my big problem. I love to eat and if it's good, I want MORE. And I love all the worst stuff. Cheeseburgers, fried chicken, gravy, fried taters and gravy, and anything with gravy. Seriously though..I'm over it. I don't HAVE to have it anymore. See those 3 chins? Thanks gravy and cheeseburgers! No more for me, thanks!

Antelope and taters...fried, of course, and smothered in gravy. YUMMY. No more though! Too much of that and I'd be bleeding gravy, huh? ;-)

Here's one good thing coming from this weight loss journey/competition....I am noticing how stupid my habits are. For example: I'll grab fast food in town just because I'm in town. Just because I have access to it when I'm in town, and I don't go to town every day and it's FAST FOOD! so I must have it. How idiotic is that?

It all goes back to when I was a teenager though. There was alot of banned food in my house. My mother didn't want us eating junk food and we always got crap from her when we brought home a Whopper or other restaurant food. So, I started taking advantage of trips to town to get fast food and hide in my car to eat it before I got home. Really dumb habit!

Then, in college, that's all I ate. I ate out all the time. Fast food, restaurant food....whatever. I hardly ever cooked at home. I had this love affair with fast food and restaurant food. That habit is really stupid too because fast food really isn't that great! It's kinda gross, in fact.

Cheeseburgers are good, but I'm stronger than cheeseburgers. Stronger than gravy too. I think. I hope so.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Let's Get This Party Started!

Ok...that title sounds alot more enthusiastic than I feel right now but it works. I'm officially on board now. I met with Carl today and got started on this journey. It's gonna be a helluva ride, too.

Carl is cool. I like him. He's a city boy. Says he's from New York and he wants to experience alot of the things we do around here like hunting and fishing and outdoorsy stuff. We can certainly help with that. But, I think Carl may be afraid to be out in the woods with me and a loaded weapon just yet. He senses alot of anger and aggression coming from me so I don't think he's quite trusting of me yet. For now, we'll work out on the punching bag alot. That sounds fun.

Carl need not worry though. I'm harmless. Well...maybe not completely harmless. I do have quite the attitude, but I'm not TOO aggressive. Maybe a little aggressive. Ok, maybe alot aggressive. Ok Carl...maybe you should worry! LOL Seriously though...I'm really only mean one week a month. Or twice. Three weeks out of the month, tops.

Carl weighed me today and then we got started. He was going to have me do a brisk 30 minute walk on a 2.2 incline on the treadmill. Well, I didn't make it 30 minutes. I made it to about 7 minutes and had to slow it down. And this whole time Carl is next to me walking dreamily on a treadmill and casually chatting away about my eating habits and making dietary suggestions and what not....just having a grand ol' time over there talking....and the whole time I'm just hanging on for dear life on this treadmill of death, trying to concentrate. I'm not sure what he really talked about. Something about grapefruit juice and no more diet coke. I did get that part of it. (I don't think I liked that part of it.) So, I pushed for another 7 or 8 minutes and was done. 15 minutes was all I could handle. I was about to puke and my legs were shaky. I haven't felt that way since the first day of 10th grade basektball practice. I did puke that day!

SO...bottom line...I really suck. What a sad story! I used to be in great shape but I've just let it all go and I can barely walk 15 minutes on a damn treadmill. And I weigh over 300 lbs! Good lord! No wonder I have anger and aggression, eh?

Back to it tomorrow though. Pretty soon I'll be able to power through my cardio workouts and I'll wipe the floor with Michelle and Christine in this contest. ;-) I am at a disadvantage, being much larger than both of them and packing alot more weight, but don't count me out. I'm determined. I know neither one of them thinks I'm much of a threat right now...but that's ok...neither does my mother and neither does my husband. Neither one of them has much confidence in me that I'll do this at all. But, I'll have the last laugh when I've got the weight off and I'm healthy and looking good and strong again.

And when I throw out my husband's freakin' prized fry daddy!